Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Saturday, March 24, 2007
The Story of Bonnie and Clyde
Following is a poem written by Bonnie Parker somewhere in the last weeks of her life: (The punctuation are hers.) She entitled it:
The Story of Bonnie and Clyde
You’ve read the story of Jesse James
Of how he lived and died
If you’re still in need for something to read
Here’s the story of Bonnie and Clyde.
Now Bonnie and Clyde are the Barrow gang,
I’m sure you all have read
how they rob and steal
And those who squeal are usually found dying or dead.
There’s lots of untruths to those write-ups
They’re not so ruthless as that
Their nature is raw, they hate all law
Stool pigeons, spotters, and rats.
They call them cold-blooded killers
They say they are heartless and mean
But I say this with pride, I once knew Clyde
When he was honest and upright and clean.
But the laws fooled around and taking him down
and locking him up in a cell
‘Till he said to me, "I’ll never be free
So I’ll meet a few of them in hell."
The road was so dimly lighted
There were no highway signs to guide
But they made up their minds if all roads were blind
They wouldn’t give up ‘till they died.
The road gets dimmer and dimmer
Sometimes you can hardly see
But it’s fight man to man, and do all you can
For they know they can never be free.
From heartbreak some people have suffered
From weariness some people have died
But all in all, our troubles are small
‘Till we get like Bonnie and Clyde.
If a policeman is killed in Dallas
And they have no clue or guide
If they can’t find a friend, just wipe the slate clean
And hang it on Bonnie and Clyde.
There’s two crimes committed in America
Not accredited to the Barrow Mob
They had no hand in the kidnap demand
Nor the Kansas City Depot job.
A newsboy once said to his buddy
"I wish old Clyde would get jumped
In these hard times we’s get a few dimes
If five or six cops would get bumped."
"The police haven’t got the report yet
But Clyde called me up today
He said, "Don’t start any fights, we aren’t
working nights, we’re joining the NRA."
From Irving to West Dallas viaduct
Is known as the Great Divide
Where the women are kin and men are men
And they won’t stool on Bonnie and Clyde.
If they try to act like citizens
And rent a nice little flat
About the third night they’re invited to fight
By a sub-gun’s rat-tat-tat.
They don’t think they’re tough or desperate
They know the law always wins
They’ve been shot at before, but they do not ignore
That death is the wages of sin.
Someday they’ll go down together
And they’ll bury them side by side
To few it’ll be grief, to the law a relief
But it’s death for Bonnie and Clyde.
Click here for the source.
The Story of Bonnie and Clyde
You’ve read the story of Jesse James
Of how he lived and died
If you’re still in need for something to read
Here’s the story of Bonnie and Clyde.
Now Bonnie and Clyde are the Barrow gang,
I’m sure you all have read
how they rob and steal
And those who squeal are usually found dying or dead.
There’s lots of untruths to those write-ups
They’re not so ruthless as that
Their nature is raw, they hate all law
Stool pigeons, spotters, and rats.
They call them cold-blooded killers
They say they are heartless and mean
But I say this with pride, I once knew Clyde
When he was honest and upright and clean.
But the laws fooled around and taking him down
and locking him up in a cell
‘Till he said to me, "I’ll never be free
So I’ll meet a few of them in hell."
The road was so dimly lighted
There were no highway signs to guide
But they made up their minds if all roads were blind
They wouldn’t give up ‘till they died.
The road gets dimmer and dimmer
Sometimes you can hardly see
But it’s fight man to man, and do all you can
For they know they can never be free.
From heartbreak some people have suffered
From weariness some people have died
But all in all, our troubles are small
‘Till we get like Bonnie and Clyde.
If a policeman is killed in Dallas
And they have no clue or guide
If they can’t find a friend, just wipe the slate clean
And hang it on Bonnie and Clyde.
There’s two crimes committed in America
Not accredited to the Barrow Mob
They had no hand in the kidnap demand
Nor the Kansas City Depot job.
A newsboy once said to his buddy
"I wish old Clyde would get jumped
In these hard times we’s get a few dimes
If five or six cops would get bumped."
"The police haven’t got the report yet
But Clyde called me up today
He said, "Don’t start any fights, we aren’t
working nights, we’re joining the NRA."
From Irving to West Dallas viaduct
Is known as the Great Divide
Where the women are kin and men are men
And they won’t stool on Bonnie and Clyde.
If they try to act like citizens
And rent a nice little flat
About the third night they’re invited to fight
By a sub-gun’s rat-tat-tat.
They don’t think they’re tough or desperate
They know the law always wins
They’ve been shot at before, but they do not ignore
That death is the wages of sin.
Someday they’ll go down together
And they’ll bury them side by side
To few it’ll be grief, to the law a relief
But it’s death for Bonnie and Clyde.
Click here for the source.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Matter of Taste... and Names
The following is from a British journalist stationed in the Philippines, circa 1999-- a bit dated but still "hilariously true"!
Matter of Taste
by Matthew Sutherland
I have now been in this country for over six years, and consider myself in most respects well assimilated. However, there is one key step on the road to full asimilation, which I have yet to take, and that's to eat BALUT. The day any of you sees me eating balut, please call immigration and ask them to issue me a Filipino passport. Because at that point there will be no turning back. BALUT, for those still blissfully ignorant non-Pinoys out there, is a fertilized duck egg. It is commonly sold with salt in a piece of newspaper, much like English fish and chips, by street vendors usually after dark, presumably so you can't see how gross it is. It's meant to be an aphrodisiac, although I can't imagine anything more likely to dispel sexual desire than crunching on a partially formed baby duck swimming in noxious fluid. The embryo in the eggcomes in varying stages of development, but basically it is not considered macho to eat one without fully discernable feathers, beak, and claws. Some say these crunchy bits are the best. Others prefer just to drink the so-called 'soup', the vile,pungent liquid that surrounds the aforementioned feathery fetus...excuse me; I have to go and throw up now. I'll be back in a minute.
Food dominates the life of the Filipino. People here just love to eat.They eat at least eight times a day. These eight official meals are called,in order: breakfast, snacks, lunch, merienda, pica-pica, pulutan, dinner, and no-one-saw-me-take-that-cookie-from-the-fridge-so-it-doesn't- count. The short gaps in between these mealtimes are spent eating Sky Flakes from the open packet that sits on every desktop. You're never far from food in the Philippines. If you doubt this, next time you're driving home from work, try this g ame. See how long you can drive without seeing food and I don't mean a distant restaurant, or a picture of food. I mean a man on the sidewalk frying fish balls, or a man walking through the traffic selling nuts or candy. I bet it's less than one minute.
Here are some other things I've noticed about food in the Philippines. Firstly, a meal is not a meal without rice - even breakfast. In the UK, I could go a whole year without eating rice. Second, it's impossible to drink without eating. A bottle of San Miguel just isn't the same without gambas or beef tapa. Third, no one ventures more than two paces from their house without baon and a container of something cold to drink. You might as well ask a Filipino to leave home without his pants on. And lastly, where I come from, you eat with a knife and fork. Here, you eat with a spoon and fork.You try eating rice swimming in fish sauce with a knife.
One really nice thing about Filipino food culture is that people always ask you to SHARE their food. In my office, if you catch anyone attacking their baon, they will always go, "Sir! KAIN TAYO!" ("Let's eat!"). This confused me, until I realized that they didn't actually expect me to sit down and start munching on their boneless bangus. In fact, the polite response is something like, "No thanks, I just ate."
But the principle is sound - if you have food on your plate, you are expected to share it, however hungry you are, with those who may be even hungrier. I think that's great. In fact, this is frequently even taken one step further. Many Filipinos use "Have you eaten yet?" ("KUMAIN KA NA?") as a general greeting, irrespective of time of day or location.
Some foreigners think Filipino food is fairly dull compared to other Asian cuisines. Actually lots of it is very good: Spicy dishes like Bicol Express (strange, a dish named after a train); anything cooked with coconut milk; anything KINILAW; and anything ADOBO. And it's hard to beat the sheer wanton, cholesterolic frenzy of a good old-fashioned LECHON de leche feast. Dig a pit, light a fire, add 50 pounds of animal fat on a stick, and cook until crisp. Mmm, mmm... you can actually feel your arteries constricting with each successive mouthful.
I also share one key Pinoy trait ---a sweet tooth. I am thus the only foreigner I know who does not complain about sweet bread, sweet burgers,sweet spaghetti, sweet banana ketchup, and so on. I am a man who likes to put jam on his pizza. Try it!
It's the weird food you want to avoid. In addition to duck fetus in the half-shell, items to avoid in the Philippines include pig's blood soup (DINUGUAN); bull's testicle soup, the strangely- named "SOUP NUMBER FIVE" (I dread to think what numbers one through four are); and the ubiquitous, stinky shrimp paste, BAGOONG,and it's equally stinky sister, PATIS. Filipinos are so addicted to these latter items that they will even risk arrest or deportation trying to smuggle them into countries like Australia and the USA, which wisely ban the importation of items you can smell from more than 100 paces.
Then there's the small matter of the blue ice cream. I have never been able to get my brain around eating blue food; the ubiquitous UBE leaves me cold.
And lastly on the subject of weird food, beware: that KALDERETANG KAMBING (goat) could well be KALDERETANG ASO (dog).
The Filipino, of course, has a well-developed sense of food. Here's a typical Pinoy food joke: "I'm on a seafood diet. "What's a seafood diet?" -- "When I see food, I eat it!"
Filipinos also eat strange bits of animals --- the feet, the head, the guts, etc., usually barbecued on a stick. These have been given witty names,like "ADIDAS" (chicken's feet); "KURBATA" (either just chicken's neck, or "neck and thigh" as in "neck-tie"); "WALKMAN" (pigs ears); "PAL" (chicken wings); "HELMET" (chicken head); "IUD" (chicken intestines), and BETAMAX" (video-cassette-like blocks of animal blood). Yum, yum. Bon appetit.
Here's another article from the same person:
WHEN I arrived in the Philippines from the UK six years ago, the first cultural differences to strike me was names. The subject has provided a continuing source of amazement and amusement ever since.
The first unusual thing, from an English perspective, is that everyone here has a nickname. In the staid and boring United Kingdom, we have nicknames in kindergarten, but when we move into adulthood we tend, I am glad to say, to lose them.
The second thing that struck me is that Philippine names for both girls and boys tend to be what we in the UK would regard as overbearingly cutesy for anyone over about five. Fifty-five-year- olds colleague put it. Where I come from, a boy with a nickname like Boy Blue or Honey Boy would be beaten to death at school by pre-adolescent bullies, and never make it to adulthood. So, probably, would girls with names like Babes, Lovely, Precious, Peachy or Apples. Yuk, ech ech.
Here, however, no one bats an eyelid. Then I noticed how many people have what I have come to call "door-bell names". These are nicknames that sound like -well,doorbells. There are millions of them.
Bing, Bong, Ding, and Dong are some of the more common. They can be, and frequently are, used in even more door-bell-like combinations such as Bing-Bong, Ding-Dong, Ting-Ting, and so on. Even our newly appointed chief of police has a doorbell name Ping. None of these doorbell names exist where I come from, and hence sound unusually amusing to my untutored foreign ear.
Someone once told me that one of the Bings, when asked why he was called Bing, replied, "because my brother is called Bong". Faultless logic. Dong,of course, is a particularly funny one for me, as where I come from "dong" is a slang word for well; perhaps "talong" is the best Tagalog equivalent.
Repeating names was another novelty to me, having never before encountered people with names like Len-Len, Let-Let, Mai-Mai, or Ning-Ning.The s ecretary I inherited on my arrival had an unusual one: Leck-Leck. Such names are then frequently further refined by using the "squared" symbol, as in Len2 or Mai2. This had me very confused for a while.
Then there is the trend for parents to stick to a theme when naming their children. This can be as simple as making them all begin with the same letter, as in Jun, Jimmy, Janice, and Joy.
More imaginative parents shoot for more sophisticated forms of assonance or rhyme, as in Biboy, Boboy, Buboy, Baboy (notice the names get worse the more kids there are-best to be born early or you could end up being a Baboy).
Even better, parents can create whole families of, say, desserts (Apple Pie, Cherry Pie, Honey Pie) or flowers (Rose, Daffodil, Tulip).
The main advantage of such combinations is that they look great painted across your trunk if you're a cab driver. That's another thing I'd never seen before coming to Manila -- taxis with the driver's kids' names on the trunk.
Another whole eye-opening field for the foreign visitor is the phenomenon of the "composite" name. This includes names like Jejomar (for Jesus, Joseph and Mary), and the remarkable Luzviminda (for Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao, believe it or not). That's a bit like me being called something like "Engscowani" (for England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland). Between you and me, I'm glad I'm not.
And how could I forget to mention the fabulous concept of the randomly inserted letter 'h'. Quite what this device is supposed to achieve, I have not yet figured out, but I think it is designed to give a touch of class to an otherwise only averagely weird name. It results in creations like Jhun, Lhenn, Ghemma, and Jhimmy. Or how about Jhun-Jhun (Jhun2)?
How boring to come from a country like the UK full of people with names like John Smith. How wonderful to come from a country where imagination and exoticism rule the world of names.
Even the towns here have weird names; my favorite is the unbelievably named town of Sexmoan (ironically close to Olongapo and Angeles). Where else in the world could that really be true? Where else in the world could the head of the Church really be called Cardinal Sin? Where else but the Philippines!
Note: Philippines has a senator named Joker, and it is his legal name.
Matter of Taste
by Matthew Sutherland
I have now been in this country for over six years, and consider myself in most respects well assimilated. However, there is one key step on the road to full asimilation, which I have yet to take, and that's to eat BALUT. The day any of you sees me eating balut, please call immigration and ask them to issue me a Filipino passport. Because at that point there will be no turning back. BALUT, for those still blissfully ignorant non-Pinoys out there, is a fertilized duck egg. It is commonly sold with salt in a piece of newspaper, much like English fish and chips, by street vendors usually after dark, presumably so you can't see how gross it is. It's meant to be an aphrodisiac, although I can't imagine anything more likely to dispel sexual desire than crunching on a partially formed baby duck swimming in noxious fluid. The embryo in the eggcomes in varying stages of development, but basically it is not considered macho to eat one without fully discernable feathers, beak, and claws. Some say these crunchy bits are the best. Others prefer just to drink the so-called 'soup', the vile,pungent liquid that surrounds the aforementioned feathery fetus...excuse me; I have to go and throw up now. I'll be back in a minute.
Food dominates the life of the Filipino. People here just love to eat.They eat at least eight times a day. These eight official meals are called,in order: breakfast, snacks, lunch, merienda, pica-pica, pulutan, dinner, and no-one-saw-me-take-that-cookie-from-the-fridge-so-it-doesn't- count. The short gaps in between these mealtimes are spent eating Sky Flakes from the open packet that sits on every desktop. You're never far from food in the Philippines. If you doubt this, next time you're driving home from work, try this g ame. See how long you can drive without seeing food and I don't mean a distant restaurant, or a picture of food. I mean a man on the sidewalk frying fish balls, or a man walking through the traffic selling nuts or candy. I bet it's less than one minute.
Here are some other things I've noticed about food in the Philippines. Firstly, a meal is not a meal without rice - even breakfast. In the UK, I could go a whole year without eating rice. Second, it's impossible to drink without eating. A bottle of San Miguel just isn't the same without gambas or beef tapa. Third, no one ventures more than two paces from their house without baon and a container of something cold to drink. You might as well ask a Filipino to leave home without his pants on. And lastly, where I come from, you eat with a knife and fork. Here, you eat with a spoon and fork.You try eating rice swimming in fish sauce with a knife.
One really nice thing about Filipino food culture is that people always ask you to SHARE their food. In my office, if you catch anyone attacking their baon, they will always go, "Sir! KAIN TAYO!" ("Let's eat!"). This confused me, until I realized that they didn't actually expect me to sit down and start munching on their boneless bangus. In fact, the polite response is something like, "No thanks, I just ate."
But the principle is sound - if you have food on your plate, you are expected to share it, however hungry you are, with those who may be even hungrier. I think that's great. In fact, this is frequently even taken one step further. Many Filipinos use "Have you eaten yet?" ("KUMAIN KA NA?") as a general greeting, irrespective of time of day or location.
Some foreigners think Filipino food is fairly dull compared to other Asian cuisines. Actually lots of it is very good: Spicy dishes like Bicol Express (strange, a dish named after a train); anything cooked with coconut milk; anything KINILAW; and anything ADOBO. And it's hard to beat the sheer wanton, cholesterolic frenzy of a good old-fashioned LECHON de leche feast. Dig a pit, light a fire, add 50 pounds of animal fat on a stick, and cook until crisp. Mmm, mmm... you can actually feel your arteries constricting with each successive mouthful.
I also share one key Pinoy trait ---a sweet tooth. I am thus the only foreigner I know who does not complain about sweet bread, sweet burgers,sweet spaghetti, sweet banana ketchup, and so on. I am a man who likes to put jam on his pizza. Try it!
It's the weird food you want to avoid. In addition to duck fetus in the half-shell, items to avoid in the Philippines include pig's blood soup (DINUGUAN); bull's testicle soup, the strangely- named "SOUP NUMBER FIVE" (I dread to think what numbers one through four are); and the ubiquitous, stinky shrimp paste, BAGOONG,and it's equally stinky sister, PATIS. Filipinos are so addicted to these latter items that they will even risk arrest or deportation trying to smuggle them into countries like Australia and the USA, which wisely ban the importation of items you can smell from more than 100 paces.
Then there's the small matter of the blue ice cream. I have never been able to get my brain around eating blue food; the ubiquitous UBE leaves me cold.
And lastly on the subject of weird food, beware: that KALDERETANG KAMBING (goat) could well be KALDERETANG ASO (dog).
The Filipino, of course, has a well-developed sense of food. Here's a typical Pinoy food joke: "I'm on a seafood diet. "What's a seafood diet?" -- "When I see food, I eat it!"
Filipinos also eat strange bits of animals --- the feet, the head, the guts, etc., usually barbecued on a stick. These have been given witty names,like "ADIDAS" (chicken's feet); "KURBATA" (either just chicken's neck, or "neck and thigh" as in "neck-tie"); "WALKMAN" (pigs ears); "PAL" (chicken wings); "HELMET" (chicken head); "IUD" (chicken intestines), and BETAMAX" (video-cassette-like blocks of animal blood). Yum, yum. Bon appetit.
Here's another article from the same person:
WHEN I arrived in the Philippines from the UK six years ago, the first cultural differences to strike me was names. The subject has provided a continuing source of amazement and amusement ever since.
The first unusual thing, from an English perspective, is that everyone here has a nickname. In the staid and boring United Kingdom, we have nicknames in kindergarten, but when we move into adulthood we tend, I am glad to say, to lose them.
The second thing that struck me is that Philippine names for both girls and boys tend to be what we in the UK would regard as overbearingly cutesy for anyone over about five. Fifty-five-year- olds colleague put it. Where I come from, a boy with a nickname like Boy Blue or Honey Boy would be beaten to death at school by pre-adolescent bullies, and never make it to adulthood. So, probably, would girls with names like Babes, Lovely, Precious, Peachy or Apples. Yuk, ech ech.
Here, however, no one bats an eyelid. Then I noticed how many people have what I have come to call "door-bell names". These are nicknames that sound like -well,doorbells. There are millions of them.
Bing, Bong, Ding, and Dong are some of the more common. They can be, and frequently are, used in even more door-bell-like combinations such as Bing-Bong, Ding-Dong, Ting-Ting, and so on. Even our newly appointed chief of police has a doorbell name Ping. None of these doorbell names exist where I come from, and hence sound unusually amusing to my untutored foreign ear.
Someone once told me that one of the Bings, when asked why he was called Bing, replied, "because my brother is called Bong". Faultless logic. Dong,of course, is a particularly funny one for me, as where I come from "dong" is a slang word for well; perhaps "talong" is the best Tagalog equivalent.
Repeating names was another novelty to me, having never before encountered people with names like Len-Len, Let-Let, Mai-Mai, or Ning-Ning.The s ecretary I inherited on my arrival had an unusual one: Leck-Leck. Such names are then frequently further refined by using the "squared" symbol, as in Len2 or Mai2. This had me very confused for a while.
Then there is the trend for parents to stick to a theme when naming their children. This can be as simple as making them all begin with the same letter, as in Jun, Jimmy, Janice, and Joy.
More imaginative parents shoot for more sophisticated forms of assonance or rhyme, as in Biboy, Boboy, Buboy, Baboy (notice the names get worse the more kids there are-best to be born early or you could end up being a Baboy).
Even better, parents can create whole families of, say, desserts (Apple Pie, Cherry Pie, Honey Pie) or flowers (Rose, Daffodil, Tulip).
The main advantage of such combinations is that they look great painted across your trunk if you're a cab driver. That's another thing I'd never seen before coming to Manila -- taxis with the driver's kids' names on the trunk.
Another whole eye-opening field for the foreign visitor is the phenomenon of the "composite" name. This includes names like Jejomar (for Jesus, Joseph and Mary), and the remarkable Luzviminda (for Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao, believe it or not). That's a bit like me being called something like "Engscowani" (for England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland). Between you and me, I'm glad I'm not.
And how could I forget to mention the fabulous concept of the randomly inserted letter 'h'. Quite what this device is supposed to achieve, I have not yet figured out, but I think it is designed to give a touch of class to an otherwise only averagely weird name. It results in creations like Jhun, Lhenn, Ghemma, and Jhimmy. Or how about Jhun-Jhun (Jhun2)?
How boring to come from a country like the UK full of people with names like John Smith. How wonderful to come from a country where imagination and exoticism rule the world of names.
Even the towns here have weird names; my favorite is the unbelievably named town of Sexmoan (ironically close to Olongapo and Angeles). Where else in the world could that really be true? Where else in the world could the head of the Church really be called Cardinal Sin? Where else but the Philippines!
Note: Philippines has a senator named Joker, and it is his legal name.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Funny Lines - Humor at Call Centers
I work as a recruitment associate for call centers, and i often encounter funny lines. hey, i'm not laughing at the people. just the lines. here are some of them:
1. I am a flexible and I am perseverance person (when asked to describe her personality)
2. I want to learn more English words. (when asked why he wanted to work in a call center). [Damn! Read the dictionary!]
3. Do you have any extra ordinary positions that I can take for granted (Roughly Translated: Meron po ba kayong ibang position na pwede ko'ng apply-an?)
4. "Ten" (When asked to count from 1 to 40 to measure her articulation)
5. "Kelan Po?" (When asked to count from 1 to 40 to measure her articulation)
6. "I would choose IRATE CALLERS, Sir." (Answer to the question: If you will change the COLOR of the world, what would it be and why?)
7. "I want to entertain and satisfy customers" (hmmm..interesting concept.so.what are you wearing right now?)
8. "I want to expose myself to the customers." (Answer to why he wants to work in a call center") - Flasher ITO!
9. "Is there an opening for a call center?" (Oh so you want to become a call center now huh?)
10. "Hi. Good afternoon, my name is _____, and I'M a call center from the Philippines." (solohin ba)
11. Chocolates, boys with tongue pierce." (An applicants answer to the question: What are your weaknesses?"
12. "I think Grade 3 and 4 students are very childish!" (Answer to the question: What do you think is the most difficult part of teaching Grade 3 and 4 students)
13. "Haller???!!!??? (knocks on the table) THE SALARY!" (Answer to Why do you want to work in a call center?)
14. "I'm a married person, I have 2 children, the same boy"
15. "It's a colorful world." (Describe the shirt you're wearing.)
16. "It's a boomed industry." (So all agents are now dead, I guess)
17. "I like to explore other people." (ay sus.maniac ka ano?)
18. "I want to explore myself more." (Answer to why do you want to work in a call center. bagay sila ni #17...)
19. "Hu u? How did you get my #? Text me back, huri. Send me load." (The audacity of an applicant can sometimes appall you.)
20. "I was scheduled for an exam this morninga..I wasn't able to make it.because I WAS TONSILITIS."
21. "Hi Maam, do you have an opening." (Lokong to ah!)
22. "I want to adventure into the graveyard." (Langya, mahiilig ka sa patay!)
23. "I would like to be a part of the graveyard." (isa ka pa...thriller.thriller night)
24. "Gd pm sir, im realy sri wen u call me I cnt hear clearly coz d raindrops of d rain is vry noisy. Rgrdng of wat u want 2 knw y u call me?" (A text message from an applicant)
25. "Do you accept walking applicants?" (No, we prefer flying ones)
26. Interviewer: So you're an undergrad. What year are you in right now?Applicant: Oh I'm just here in the house. Interviewer: No, I asked you what year you're in. Applicant: Year? I'm 25 years old! ( Nagkakaintindihan tayo pare...)
27. Applicant: Agency ba to? Interviewer: No sir, head hunting firm. Applicant (turning to friend): Egg-hunting daw pare! (Happy Easter!)
28. "In the middle of my study at Adamson, my father fortunately passed away." (FORTUNATELY???!!!)29. "Hello, i just want to inquire about the application resume that i planted in the computer..." (Ano ka, farmer?)
30. "May inaantay ako na trabaho kaya gusto ko lang na may mapag LILIBINGAN." (Answer to the question "Why do you prefer a part-time job?" Tagalog na yun ha! Mahilig talaga kayo sa patay!)
1. I am a flexible and I am perseverance person (when asked to describe her personality)
2. I want to learn more English words. (when asked why he wanted to work in a call center). [Damn! Read the dictionary!]
3. Do you have any extra ordinary positions that I can take for granted (Roughly Translated: Meron po ba kayong ibang position na pwede ko'ng apply-an?)
4. "Ten" (When asked to count from 1 to 40 to measure her articulation)
5. "Kelan Po?" (When asked to count from 1 to 40 to measure her articulation)
6. "I would choose IRATE CALLERS, Sir." (Answer to the question: If you will change the COLOR of the world, what would it be and why?)
7. "I want to entertain and satisfy customers" (hmmm..interesting concept.so.what are you wearing right now?)
8. "I want to expose myself to the customers." (Answer to why he wants to work in a call center") - Flasher ITO!
9. "Is there an opening for a call center?" (Oh so you want to become a call center now huh?)
10. "Hi. Good afternoon, my name is _____, and I'M a call center from the Philippines." (solohin ba)
11. Chocolates, boys with tongue pierce." (An applicants answer to the question: What are your weaknesses?"
12. "I think Grade 3 and 4 students are very childish!" (Answer to the question: What do you think is the most difficult part of teaching Grade 3 and 4 students)
13. "Haller???!!!??? (knocks on the table) THE SALARY!" (Answer to Why do you want to work in a call center?)
14. "I'm a married person, I have 2 children, the same boy"
15. "It's a colorful world." (Describe the shirt you're wearing.)
16. "It's a boomed industry." (So all agents are now dead, I guess)
17. "I like to explore other people." (ay sus.maniac ka ano?)
18. "I want to explore myself more." (Answer to why do you want to work in a call center. bagay sila ni #17...)
19. "Hu u? How did you get my #? Text me back, huri. Send me load." (The audacity of an applicant can sometimes appall you.)
20. "I was scheduled for an exam this morninga..I wasn't able to make it.because I WAS TONSILITIS."
21. "Hi Maam, do you have an opening." (Lokong to ah!)
22. "I want to adventure into the graveyard." (Langya, mahiilig ka sa patay!)
23. "I would like to be a part of the graveyard." (isa ka pa...thriller.thriller night)
24. "Gd pm sir, im realy sri wen u call me I cnt hear clearly coz d raindrops of d rain is vry noisy. Rgrdng of wat u want 2 knw y u call me?" (A text message from an applicant)
25. "Do you accept walking applicants?" (No, we prefer flying ones)
26. Interviewer: So you're an undergrad. What year are you in right now?Applicant: Oh I'm just here in the house. Interviewer: No, I asked you what year you're in. Applicant: Year? I'm 25 years old! ( Nagkakaintindihan tayo pare...)
27. Applicant: Agency ba to? Interviewer: No sir, head hunting firm. Applicant (turning to friend): Egg-hunting daw pare! (Happy Easter!)
28. "In the middle of my study at Adamson, my father fortunately passed away." (FORTUNATELY???!!!)29. "Hello, i just want to inquire about the application resume that i planted in the computer..." (Ano ka, farmer?)
30. "May inaantay ako na trabaho kaya gusto ko lang na may mapag LILIBINGAN." (Answer to the question "Why do you prefer a part-time job?" Tagalog na yun ha! Mahilig talaga kayo sa patay!)
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
8 Long Weekend Holidays in the Philippines in 2007
Here is a tip to save money on your next awesome travel. You should book your travel way ahead in advance especially if you plan to leverage the Philippines Holidays this year. We have longer weekend holidays this 2007 and this is the time for you to go to the best places in the Philippines!
1. Longest Holy Week Vacation. This year's Holy Week is the longest because Easter Monday is also a holiday because it coincides with the Bataan Day (April 9, Monday). Book your travel Vacation now during the Holy Week Season: April 1, Palm Sunday and April Fool's Day to April 9, Easter Monday and Bataan Day. File your leave now for April 2, 3, 4!
2. Labor Day Holiday ... The second long holiday is from April 28, Sunday to May 1, Tuesday Labor Day. You need to file a leave for April 30 but it will be a leave well taken. Boracay is the perfect place for this long weekend so start booking your hotel in Bora! Also, remember that May is an elections month so better take your vacation before the election on May 14, 2nd Monday of May.
3. Independence Day Long Weekend. Take advantage of June 9, Saturday to June 11, Monday (regular holiday in lieu of June 12). No need to take a vacation since this is a 3 day weekend. It starts to rain already during this time, but still a perfect time for the last minute summer getaway.
4. Ninoy Aquino Holiday. August 21, is a special holiday which falls on a tuesday this year. So you just need to leave on August 20, and you already have a 4 day weekend from August 18, Saturday to August 21, Tuesday. It is difficult to fly during this time since this is in the middle of typhoon season. This is perfect time to start Surfing or White Water Rafting.
5. Halloween Vacation. Yes, another 4 day weekend without taking a leave. November 1 (Thursday) All Saints' Day is a special holiday and November 2 (Friday) is a Special non-working day (Proc No. 1211). So, take advantage of the Cebu Pacific Crazy Fares during this time from Nov. 1, Thursday to November 4, Sunday. Yahoo!
6. Eidl Feitre or End of Ramadan. This is usually in November but there is no date yet. Anybody knows when the end of Ramadan this year?
7. Christmas Season 4 day Holiday ... December 24 (Monday) is declared as a Special non-working day (Proc No. 1211) and December 25 (Tuesday) Christmas Day is a regular holiday. So similar to last year, we have a 4 day Christmas holiday from December 22, Saturday to December 25, Tuesday.
8. New Year Holiday . December 29, Saturday until January 1, Tuesday is another 4 day holiday weekend. It is best that you just take leave during the entire last week of December so enjoy an almost 12 day holiday!
Here is a complete list of the 2007 Phil Regular Holidays and Non-Working Days...
2007 Phil regular holidays and non-working days
January 1 (Monday) New Year's Day (regular holiday)
April 5 (Thursday) Holy Thursday (regular holiday)
April 6 (Friday) Good Friday (regular holiday)
April 7 (Saturday) Special (non-working day - Procl No. 1211)
April 9 (Monday) Bataan Day (Araw ng Kagitingan) (regular holiday)
May 1 (Tuesday) Labor Day (regular holiday)
May 14 (Monday) National Elections!
June 11 (Monday) In lieu of June 12, Independence Day (regular holiday -Procl No. 1211)
August 21 (Tuesday) Ninoy Aquino Day (special holiday)
August 26 (Sunday) National Heroes' Day (regular holiday)
November 1 (Thursday) All Saints' Day (special holiday)
November 2 (Friday) Special (non-working day - Proc No. 1211)
November (no date yet) Eidl Feitre or End of Ramadan (usually in November)
November 30 (Friday) Bonifacio Day (regular holiday)
December 24 (Monday) Special (non-working day - Proc No. 1211)
December 25 (Tuesday) Christmas Day (regular holiday)
December 30 (Sunday) Rizal Day (regular holiday)
December 31(Monday) Last Day of the Year (special holiday)
1. Longest Holy Week Vacation. This year's Holy Week is the longest because Easter Monday is also a holiday because it coincides with the Bataan Day (April 9, Monday). Book your travel Vacation now during the Holy Week Season: April 1, Palm Sunday and April Fool's Day to April 9, Easter Monday and Bataan Day. File your leave now for April 2, 3, 4!
2. Labor Day Holiday ... The second long holiday is from April 28, Sunday to May 1, Tuesday Labor Day. You need to file a leave for April 30 but it will be a leave well taken. Boracay is the perfect place for this long weekend so start booking your hotel in Bora! Also, remember that May is an elections month so better take your vacation before the election on May 14, 2nd Monday of May.
3. Independence Day Long Weekend. Take advantage of June 9, Saturday to June 11, Monday (regular holiday in lieu of June 12). No need to take a vacation since this is a 3 day weekend. It starts to rain already during this time, but still a perfect time for the last minute summer getaway.
4. Ninoy Aquino Holiday. August 21, is a special holiday which falls on a tuesday this year. So you just need to leave on August 20, and you already have a 4 day weekend from August 18, Saturday to August 21, Tuesday. It is difficult to fly during this time since this is in the middle of typhoon season. This is perfect time to start Surfing or White Water Rafting.
5. Halloween Vacation. Yes, another 4 day weekend without taking a leave. November 1 (Thursday) All Saints' Day is a special holiday and November 2 (Friday) is a Special non-working day (Proc No. 1211). So, take advantage of the Cebu Pacific Crazy Fares during this time from Nov. 1, Thursday to November 4, Sunday. Yahoo!
6. Eidl Feitre or End of Ramadan. This is usually in November but there is no date yet. Anybody knows when the end of Ramadan this year?
7. Christmas Season 4 day Holiday ... December 24 (Monday) is declared as a Special non-working day (Proc No. 1211) and December 25 (Tuesday) Christmas Day is a regular holiday. So similar to last year, we have a 4 day Christmas holiday from December 22, Saturday to December 25, Tuesday.
8. New Year Holiday . December 29, Saturday until January 1, Tuesday is another 4 day holiday weekend. It is best that you just take leave during the entire last week of December so enjoy an almost 12 day holiday!
Here is a complete list of the 2007 Phil Regular Holidays and Non-Working Days...
2007 Phil regular holidays and non-working days
January 1 (Monday) New Year's Day (regular holiday)
April 5 (Thursday) Holy Thursday (regular holiday)
April 6 (Friday) Good Friday (regular holiday)
April 7 (Saturday) Special (non-working day - Procl No. 1211)
April 9 (Monday) Bataan Day (Araw ng Kagitingan) (regular holiday)
May 1 (Tuesday) Labor Day (regular holiday)
May 14 (Monday) National Elections!
June 11 (Monday) In lieu of June 12, Independence Day (regular holiday -Procl No. 1211)
August 21 (Tuesday) Ninoy Aquino Day (special holiday)
August 26 (Sunday) National Heroes' Day (regular holiday)
November 1 (Thursday) All Saints' Day (special holiday)
November 2 (Friday) Special (non-working day - Proc No. 1211)
November (no date yet) Eidl Feitre or End of Ramadan (usually in November)
November 30 (Friday) Bonifacio Day (regular holiday)
December 24 (Monday) Special (non-working day - Proc No. 1211)
December 25 (Tuesday) Christmas Day (regular holiday)
December 30 (Sunday) Rizal Day (regular holiday)
December 31(Monday) Last Day of the Year (special holiday)
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
7 Steps to be Debt-Free in '07
Tuesday / December 26, 6:00 am ET
Steve Bucci
If one of your New Year's resolutions is to get closer to becoming debt-free, this column is for you. Steering clear of unwanted debt is a great way to manage your finances and relieve daily stress, which seems to become increasingly more stressful each year.
7 steps to becoming debt-free in '07
1. Live below your means. You cannot become debt-free if you spend more than you earn. It's that simple! Financial stress relief is called "money in the bank" or "positive cash flow."
2. Decide where you want to spend your money. Don't let others decide for you. Know how much money you are bringing in, how much goes out and to where it goes. If you are not satisfied with the answers you get from this exercise, now is the time to change your spending habits. You (and your significant other) are ultimately responsible for how your money is spent.
3. Pay your bills on time, every time. Managing monthly bills is an essential part of staying debt free and maintaining a good credit rating. If you find this difficult, come up with a system to ensure that bills are not paid late.
4. Set financial goals, both short- and long-term. Having goals in place makes it easier to make the necessary spending cuts to get what you really want. Without reasons to cut spending and save, you will constantly be under pressure to spend money you don't have for things you don't need.
5. Use credit only as a tool and with a plan. Figure out how and when you will pay the balance. Imagine building a house without a plan or blueprints. That's what your financial house will look like, too, without a plan. Your goal should be to pay for credit card purchases within three months. Remember, unlike wine, cheese or my wife, debts do not improve with age.
6. Have an adequate emergency savings fund. Life will throw curveballs at you, ranging from the need to replace a worn-out washing machine to a temporary job loss. Three to six months' worth of bare-bones living expenses should shield you from most of these problems. Can't do three months' worth? Start with three days' worth and watch it grow as saving becomes a habit.
7. Learn how to invest your savings. Your money has to earn more money to keep you out of debt, especially in your later years. Take a class, find a referral to a great adviser or just start reading. Do it your way, but do it; and start now!
So there it is, my seven for '07. May you have a debt-free New Year! The Debt Adviser, Steve Bucci, is the president of Money Management International Financial Education Foundation and the author of "Credit Repair Kit for Dummies." Visit MMI for additional debt advice or to ask a question of the Debt Adviser, go to the "Ask the Experts" page and select "debt" as the topic.
Steve Bucci
If one of your New Year's resolutions is to get closer to becoming debt-free, this column is for you. Steering clear of unwanted debt is a great way to manage your finances and relieve daily stress, which seems to become increasingly more stressful each year.
7 steps to becoming debt-free in '07
1. Live below your means. You cannot become debt-free if you spend more than you earn. It's that simple! Financial stress relief is called "money in the bank" or "positive cash flow."
2. Decide where you want to spend your money. Don't let others decide for you. Know how much money you are bringing in, how much goes out and to where it goes. If you are not satisfied with the answers you get from this exercise, now is the time to change your spending habits. You (and your significant other) are ultimately responsible for how your money is spent.
3. Pay your bills on time, every time. Managing monthly bills is an essential part of staying debt free and maintaining a good credit rating. If you find this difficult, come up with a system to ensure that bills are not paid late.
4. Set financial goals, both short- and long-term. Having goals in place makes it easier to make the necessary spending cuts to get what you really want. Without reasons to cut spending and save, you will constantly be under pressure to spend money you don't have for things you don't need.
5. Use credit only as a tool and with a plan. Figure out how and when you will pay the balance. Imagine building a house without a plan or blueprints. That's what your financial house will look like, too, without a plan. Your goal should be to pay for credit card purchases within three months. Remember, unlike wine, cheese or my wife, debts do not improve with age.
6. Have an adequate emergency savings fund. Life will throw curveballs at you, ranging from the need to replace a worn-out washing machine to a temporary job loss. Three to six months' worth of bare-bones living expenses should shield you from most of these problems. Can't do three months' worth? Start with three days' worth and watch it grow as saving becomes a habit.
7. Learn how to invest your savings. Your money has to earn more money to keep you out of debt, especially in your later years. Take a class, find a referral to a great adviser or just start reading. Do it your way, but do it; and start now!
So there it is, my seven for '07. May you have a debt-free New Year! The Debt Adviser, Steve Bucci, is the president of Money Management International Financial Education Foundation and the author of "Credit Repair Kit for Dummies." Visit MMI for additional debt advice or to ask a question of the Debt Adviser, go to the "Ask the Experts" page and select "debt" as the topic.
Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story.(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.These are our rules!Please note... these are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moonor the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something. Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. Besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, cars, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Finally, the guys' side of the story.(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.These are our rules!Please note... these are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moonor the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something. Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. Besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, cars, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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